Movember is so much more than ridiculous facial hair... as well as raising awareness of prostate and testicular cancers, it also focuses on mental health and suicide prevention through a male lens. The stats around men's mental health are not good... globally, on average, one man dies by suicide every minute of every day. Movember aims for a world where men take action to be mentally well, and are supported by those around them.
And, while suicide is largely preventable with the correct support, in a society that tells men to “man up”, talking about mental health difficulites is not always easy.
Movember Conversations in an initiative that encourages reaching out using a model called ALEC, which may help you navigate a conversation with a friend who might be having a tough time.
A - Ask. "You haven’t seemed yourself lately – are you feeling OK?"
L - Listen. Give him your full attention, and show empathy. "That can't be easy – how long have you felt this way?"
E - Encourage Action. Perhaps suggest he speaks to his doctor, or another trusted friend.
C - Check in. Arrange to meet up when you can, schedule a call, or check in via text.
But, if you or someone you know is in crisis you can contact the Samaritans in the country you’re in to speak with someone immediately. If you're ever worried that someone's life is in immediate danger, call the emergency services.
Sex tip: Prostate pleasure
Anal play is still something of a taboo. It can inspire all sorts of feelings in us - nerves, apprehension, excitement, even shame - and that’s entirely normal. But your anus is an erogenous zone. While anal play is pleasurable for everyone, it’s especially pleasurable for men due to the prostate.
The prostate (or P-spot) is the semen storage gland that sits below the bladder. It helps propel semen from the penis during ejaculation. The back (“posterior”) wall of your prostate is very close to the rectum: if you insert a finger into your (or your partner’s) rectum, you can feel the back and sides of the prostate through the thin, soft wall of the rectum.
A healthy prostate is walnut-sized, but it does swell when aroused. To the touch, it feels like a fleshy bulb, and pressing it will likely cause the sensation of needing to pee.
The prostate contains almost as many nerve endings as the clitoris, and a prostate orgasm is a full body experience. Furthermore, regular masturbation - which empties the prostate - has been found to reduce your risk of developing prostate cancer by 22%.
The 6 Keys to Anal Pleasure
Self exploration (before exploring with a partner)
Communication
Relaxation
Lube (and lots of it)
Warm up (anal massage with fingers or tongue)
Ongoing feedback
How to Enjoy Anal
Fingers and tongue allow more gentle exploration.
Massage using a circular motion, or curling your fingers in an upward motion.
Anal plugs/ beads will give a feeling of fullness, are great for solo exploration, and come in a range of sizes.
Make sure the base of any toy you use is the widest part.
How To Get Started
Gently massage the prostate (or the P-Spot) with your or a partner's fingers, thumbs, or tongue to help relaxation.
Stimulate the penis at the same time.
Press down gently on, or run a finger around the prostate just before or during orgasm.
Anal sex should NOT be painful, if it hurts, stop.
How do I communicate?
Clearly and openly: “I’ve been thinking about exploring anal pleasure for myself, would you be open to exploring that with me?”
Don't be shy. Your pleasure is important and exploring with a partner is exciting.
Be prepared to be met with curiosity and to answer questions - they may also have conflicting feelings about it.
Share some of your self-exploration experiences with them, and perhaps even show them.
But most importantly... have fun!